Death's wine
by Moonpath-wolf
Summary: For Naruto, things just get stranger and stranger... which is should be when your a million old teacher that is suddently seeing old friends again. Modern age Naru? yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**Moonwolf: **huh…

**Kakashi: **…another story?…don't you already have a few to finish?

**Moonwolf: **…yeah…I do…this is actually just a drabble…I might write more on it…but right at the moment it was just a idea that wouldn't leave me alone.

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**My life**

Myths say…that when death comes for you, he offers you a bowl of wine so you will forget your life, your loved ones and all that once meant something to you when alive. Its meant to make it easier to leave the life you had so you could live a better one when reincarnated. Well... I can confirm that its not just a myth… death's memory erasing wine is as real as you…and I.

Oh I must apologize, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Uzumaki Naruto, thought I go as Namikaze Naruto these days. You might have heard about Uzumaki Naruto before? it's a pretty popular anime series in Japan and its spreading slowly over the world. That blond anime character is me, or it was me for very very long ago.

You see when death came for me…when I was offered that bowl, I threw it away and ran like hell away from death. He never caught up to me but he's trying… and he almost got me at times but the Kyuubi influence helps out there.

But back on track ne?

That anime was my life once, ninjas, jutsu's, missions and kunai's…. That was the time I think I loved the most. Oh I forgot to mention something important…I'm immortal, since I escaped from death I have not aged at all. I saw the rise of the roman empire, the fall of Nero the insane Cesar, I saw Hitler speak in German and I saw the fall of him…I lived a hundred life's you could say but I never changed…well my looks didn't change ( not much atleast) but my personality did.

I can no longer be that hyperactive kid I was when I were young. I'm mature now, I think before I speak and I don't take to many risks…. I cant take to many risks anymore as death would s the first chance to catch me…I do not want that. After all, who wants to die? If you cant tell I'm chuckling right now.

I been a thief, a beggar ( not the funniest thing to be) , a street performer, a dancer, a knight, a assassin, a soldier ( I still have the dogtags at home). Hell I even been a doctor somewhere along the road but its not before now… when I returned to Konoha and took up teaching at Konoha high school (Iruka-sensei would be proud!) that things turned…weird.

And I mean weirder then normal living forever and avoiding death. No I mean weird as in people from my first life walking around in this age….Oh Kyuubi in a tutu! Was that Kakashi-sensei with a eyepatch?

Yeah, my life decidedly turned weirder then ever.

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AN: about that first part… that is a actual myth from china but then its about souls or something. I just read it somewhere so I'm not really sure thought but I'm gonna use it anyhow XD


	2. A Pervert

**Moonwolf:** …well it seems I will continue this story after all…though I need a little help or more like suggestions… ppl Naruto has lived through the whole history but now I need you guys to tell me where he's been or who? A example: Naruto was a gold digger through the Klondike or perhaps a one of the many gangster boys when Las Vegas was established. No suggestion is silly so speak up ppl!

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**A pervert**

"Well your credits are quite good Mister Namikaze I'm almost forced to say your to good for our humble academy" Sarutobi Enma chuckled good naturally as he looked at Naruto with kind grandfatherly eyes. Naruto just gave a soft smile as he tried to keep his emotions in check as he stared at one of his most beloved persons. This was Jiji-chan… a Jiji-chan that didn't remember him at all…ouch that hurt.

Enma trailed his eyes back to the papers he had on Namikaze, humming softly as he studied the man over the rim of the paper. The man was 5'3 perhaps 5'4, young, slimmed built and blond. He had waist length hair (sort of like his other teacher, Orochimaru Enma mused) gathered in a slim braid that shined like new spun moonshine but the bangs were dyed in quite a fetching shade of orange/red, almost making it look like fire as they were parted over his forehead. Tan skin, unique lines on both of his cheeks (were they tattoos the wrinkled man wondered) and in his right upper ear Enma could vaguely see the glint of a earring. Dressed in casual slacks, a button up white shirt with a few buttons undone on the top and a sweater tied around his waist the blond made one hell of a picture.

By the side of the blond a dog stood (or was it a fox?) quietly. Reddish fur and a narrowed face with the same round ears as a fox but still… it was to big for a fox "he's a hybrid if you were wondering" Naruto spoke up quietly and Sarutobi jumped, slightly guilty at being caught. Naruto just smiled at him and stroked over the dogs head, grinning when it purred…wait purred? "his name is Kyuubi, I picked him up a few years ago and he hasn't parted from me since, He goes everywhere I go" he chuckled.

The aging principle nodded and laid down the papers "well I guess he can go with you… with how I let some of the interns and a few take their pets along I'm sure none will mind" he chuckled and stood up, Naruto standing up to "lets show you around eh?" the old man smiled. Naruto smiled to and followed after them man, Kyuubi nagging inside his mind "why the hell did you stroke my head gaki you insignificant cockroach! If I wasn't for the seal I would…" and it went ever on as Sarutobi signalled to the assistance, a red haired woman with a very short skirt "Kushina take note of any calls while I'm away, I will be showing our new staff member a little around"

The red head nodded before measuring Naruto with a look before wrinkling her nose, apparently she had not found him in taste…bummer as this woman looked a whole lot like his mother. Naruto sighed and just followed after the old man, feeling that he had put himself in for a bumpy ride…one from hell.

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"and this will be your classroom" Enma said cheerfully as he crashed the door open, causing the students inside to jump a mile. The old man just grinned at the glaring students before turning to Naruto who was shielded from the class "come now Naruto, time to meet your class of diligent and mischief's" somehow Naruto had a feeling that Sarutobi was on crack as he grabbed Naruto's arm and bodily pulled the blond into the classroom, the braid swaying after him.

Up front on the desk a broad man with a slight bluish twinge in his skin smiled at them "yo principle, this the new teacher? Dose this mean I can go?" there was a hopeful note in his voice. Sarutobi gave a belly laugh and shook his head "sorry Kisame, but Naruto is not starting up today! I'm just showing him around but tomorrow" that last part was said kindly to the blue man who had deflated when he heard that the blond wasn't starting today.

Naruto frowned slightly, did that mean he would have a hell class? He peeked at them with the corner of his eyes and almost had a stroke. Konomaru! Konomaru and his gang was sitting there in the front desk as a alive as he. Gods he hadn't seen those guys since the war with sound started for real…not since he found all three, hung by the Sound nins… Naruto shook the morbid thought from his mind and smiled slightly strained at the class "hello class, I'm Naruto and I'll be your teacher starting from tomorrow"

As the students broke out in whispers Sarutobi grabbed Naruto again "yes yes all fine and dandy now come along! You have to meet some of the faculty" he sounded like a excited child… wow that sounded kind of wring as the man was old…but not as old as Naruto…who still acted like that at times….damn.

Sarutobi burst into the teacher lounge, causing a few people to spill their coffees/teas all over and some over themselves. Naruto snorted in amusement as Sarutobi started a belly laugh at all the disgruntled faces.

Kakashi's point of view

Why again do I work here? Kakashi asked himself miserable as he stared at the slowly spreading coffee stain on the floor. And why again did he have such a hyper boss! He turned his eyes to glare at the old man but was stunned as he stared at a blond angle…right by the old man.

Blue eyes with a mischievous but mystical look in them, blond hair with dyed bangs, a slight smile on his face with a slight sad tone to and a body to die for. It was at that moment that Hatake Kakashi decided that he was getting in this guys pants.

Minato's point of view

Minato cursed softly as he stared at his new shoes that he had spilled coffee on. Damn Sarutobi and his joy of slamming every fucking doo…hello what was this? Minato goggled at the blond that stood beside the man, a soft smile on his face that caused Minato's heart to flimmer.

It looked sad and pained yet trying to hide it.

The man was beautiful to though. The smaller blond had a air around him that just drew you to look and when you looked you were hooked on him. The blond shifted slightly and Minato caught the glimpse of the purest blue eyes he had ever seen, such a electric shade that he could feel his heart skip a beat.

Yes at that moment Namikaze Minato decided that he wanted this blond, at any prize. But what the heck was Jiraiya doing?

End of view

By now everyone had noticed Naruto as he stood there nervously but trying not to make it obvious. Kyuubi licked his hand to calm the blond that he had wandered through the ages with and Naruto turned his head to smile at the fox demon. Because of that he did not notice Jiraiya before he was straight in front of him "aren't you a pretty little thing, foxy lady" the white haired man had the most lecherous face Naruto had ever seen as he stared at the moon blond man.

Naruto swallowed and flushed slowly as he opened his mouth to tell older man that Naruto was male but squeaked instead as he was grabbed into a hug and…was that Jiraiya's hand on his ass?

Naruto felt his eye twitch before he went into a flurry of motions, almost to fast for regular humans to watch. He twisted in Jiraiya's arms, grabbed one of the arms and threw Jiraiya into a wall on the other side, the wall denting and cracking as the pervert hit it. Naruto slowly straighten from the crutch he had gone down in and stared at Jiraiya as he fell down "I don't like perverts and I deal with them harshly…and I'm male by the way" he growled, getting more pissed as Kyuubi was laughing up a storm in his head.

Sarutobi chuckled as he studied the wall Naruto had busted up, not the least bit disturbed by the blonds massive strength, speed or moves "Well I guess this means Hidan and Kakuzu get to fix the wall while they fix the electronics to" he grinned. The other teachers were staring at the wall to, gaping before turning back to the huffing blond that was muttering about perverts and castration.

Minato and Kakashi winched as the understood that if they wanted this blond, they would have to tread carefully.

"Faculty" Enma smirked as their attention returned back to him, even Jiraiya who was slowly standing up thanks to Orochimaru "meet Namikaze Naruto…our new history teacher"


End file.
